Please tell me I’m not the only mother who lets her children run around in just their undies and diaper on a Saturday while trashing the living room with every toy and kitchen utensil imaginable and waving at strangers from the window with the blinds wide open. Because the nice Jehovah’s Witness lady and little girl that came to the door today seemed a bit uncomfortable. I’m pretty sure she was reconsidering giving me the invitation to their event, but felt bad because we already knew they were already there witnessing the chaos of our home, so she gave it anyway. Her discomfort may have had less to do with the nearly naked children with their faces smashed to the window and more to do with the frazzled mother, still in her PJs with messy hair, standing on toys because no floor was in sight… at 11:30 in the “morning.”

Normally, I wouldn’t answer the door at 11:30 when I am still in my pajamas and a tornado has run through my house, but the naked children in the window waving at the lady and hollering, “MOM! SOMEONE IS AT THE DOOR!!!!!!” was a bit of a giveaway that I was home.

In any case, I think the nice lady realized (to her relief, I’m sure) that we probably wouldn’t attend the event they invited us to, because as she was making a (quick) escape, Jacob loudly informed her, “HEY! MY Past-oh Phil has an owie on his neck. Only it’s not on da outside, so we can’t put a band-age on it. Dat’s why I’m pwayin’ foh Jesus to put a band-age on da inside. We pwayin’ foh him.”

Translation and Summary: Our pastor had some odd symptoms last week that led to an MRI that showed he had a dissection in his carotid artery. He is taking medication and cutting out strenuous physical activity and should be fine in 3 months. But Jacob was highly concerned when he heard me reading Matt an email that was sent out to our church explaining what happened. He asked all sorts of questions and finally suggested we put a bandage on it. I told him we couldn’t, because it was on the inside of his neck. So he said he would pray for Jesus to put a bandage on the inside. And he has.  Every day. “Dank you, Jesus, foh Past-oh Phil’s owie to be all better. You gonna put a bandage on da inside. Dank you.”  And he tells lots of people about it, too. Our door visitor this morning wasn’t the first person he’s told, and she wasn’t the last person he told today. Jacob also informed Mrs. Burkhart at Doris Jean’s Donuts in Lynden. Mrs. Burkhart knew exactly what he was talking about and told Jacob she’s praying for him, too.

Later that sweet boy sat at the dinner table eating his apples. When he put his hand in the air and said, “Momma. I got dirt on my fingers,” I didn’t think much of it. He said it a few more times before it hit me… he hadn’t been outside playing in the dirt since last night, and he had a bath afterward. Panic set in as I saw the “dirt” covered finger heading towards his face. “STOP! DON’T. TOUCH. ANYTHING!!!!” He lifted his other hand. It, too, was covered.

Turns out his entire diaper was FULL of “dirt.”

After a thorough washing, we headed back to the table, where Jacob continued to refuse to eat his dinner but had no problem eating his boogers and telling us about it. Matt thought it would be humorous to point out the irony and said, “You can’t feel too good about your cooking when he’ll eat his boogers and ate a bunch of dirt last night, but he won’t touch dinner.”

Thank you, Husband. I look forward to eating the wonderful meals you’ll be preparing from now on.

In other news, I have decided to post a weekly self-pity story like my last post – even if I have to make one up. Because all you ladies that ignored me and commented anyway sure know how to make a girl feel good. Your kind words were good for my soul. Loves.