Category Archives: my husband

40 Days of Faith, Family, and Funnies

Posted in blogging, Eucharisteo, family outings, holidays, joy found, my boy, my girl, my husband by

I sorta have a love-hate relationship with October.

Love the rain… hate the rain. Love that my girl has a birthday this month, hate that she’s growing up so quickly. Love the fall colors, hate the mud and muddy wet dog. Love feeling in the groove at school, hate feeling like conferences are too soon… how can it be time to prepare already?

And while one of the things I absolutely love about October is the fun family festivities: (going to the pumpkin patch, carving pumpkins, cozy family nights with hot cocoa, and decorating pumpkin cookies), October ends up being the month I hate the. very. most. for several reasons: the horrific TV previews, creepy disgusting evil things in stores, and political propaganda (which is generally deceitful and/or hateful) everywhere you look. From all the outcry on Facebook posts, I take it I’m not the only one who has had enough.

But ahhhh…. November. The month of thanksgiving. I’m sure thankful this peaceful, filled-with-thanks-and-joy month follows the creepy, filled-with-evil-and-hatred month. It’s certainly refreshing for the soul. And again, from all the Facebook posts of thanks, I take it I’m not the only one who finds the change much needed.

Even so, I decided not to do the “Thirty Days of Thanks” this year. I love reading the posts from others. I did the challenge last year, but I wasn’t good at keeping up at it, and mostly, I’m just not so good at being brief. (Matt just said, “Really? YOU? I never thought of you as someone who has a hard time being brief.” Do you hear his sarcasm even in writing??? Brat.)

But back to the thankful posts. I was inspired by them, and also by a friend who blogged a summary of her day-to-day life each day for 7 days. (She says her life is “average,” but I looked forward to her blog post each and every day.) So I decided to give myself a challenge: Instead of 30 days of Thanks, I will write (or will attempt to write) a brief post each day around the topics that I am most thankful for: Faith, Family, and Funnies (a.k.a. kid antics.) For 40 days. Or until I run out of things to say…

So why 40, you ask? Well, partly because in exactly 40 days, I will be officially on Christmas Break, so the posts will – in a sense – be a count down (or up, rather) to vacation. But honestly, it is mostly because of the alliteration. Yes, I’m that nerdy.

Well… I guess here we go.
Today’s post topic: Family. I was a little behind on my October posts, so this first one is easy.

Pumpkin Carving…

Matt ran to get pizza while the kids and I formed a plan and prepared the pumpkin carving area.

(Super excited kids = not looking at camera and blurry in pic.)

I sliced off the tops while Leesie began to scoop out the innards. She isn’t very thorough, but her hands did get inside each pumpkin (4 large, 5 small). Definitely a good effort.Jacob decided he didn’t like the looks of it and didn’t touch a single pumpkin. (Hmmm. Sounds like another male Priestman I know.) Eventually, I was facing the rest of the family fun task alone. Just me.

Just me and my Christmas music, that is.

Jacob wanted a Mickey Mouse pumpkin (fitting, since he picked out the pumpkin while at the patch with you, Auntie Jill.) The Mickey pattern seemed easy enough. It wasn’t. Or I’m not that good at it. But at least it’s recognizable.

Annalise wanted Rapunzel. A little more detail than Mickey, and the pattern was too large for the pumpkin. She got over the fact that I was cutting length off Rapunzel’s hair, which is really her only identifiable feature in a carving, and settled for the chin-length-hair-generic-princess look. Upon viewing my final product she said with surprise, “Well, it’s better than I thought at least. Thanks, Mom.” Then went back to playing in the other room. I decided against a close-up of this one.

I wasn’t sure what I wanted my pumpkin to be yet, but I had done this with the little pumpkins last year:

I wanted to do something similar this year. I carved out my letters:

By the way, that doesn’t spell HOPET. It is a cross at the end. It was suggested I add some space in between the E and the cross to make it easier to read. Noted.

Two large pumpkins left. I still wasn’t sure what to do with them. The UW logo wasn’t printing for me. The face I drew looked stupid. I decided to do a camera for Matt. The template didn’t work because it made the entire picture come out, leaving a gaping hole. (Don’t they know they have to leave parts connected to the rest of the pumpkin so a picture emerges?) So, I created a masterpiece with the chunk that fell out using my own imagination and about 50 toothpicks to piece it all together. When I was done, I called the family in to look. Matt wasn’t sure what it was. Annalise said, “It’s supposed to be a camera.” Jacob was clearly not impressed. I decided against a close-up of this one, too. And then I decided not to carve the last pumpkin.

The final product was ridiculously awesome, just as long as you squint your eyes and stand at least 20 feet away. But even this close, I think it didn’t turn out too bad, wouldn’t you say? And yes, there is a space between HOPE and the cross.

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Paid in Full

Posted in Eucharisteo, family outings, grace, my husband by

Matt and I have had our fair share of car issues. I’d say more than our fair share, actually. Since I was in college, every single time I got a little extra cash, something went wrong with my car and said cash was used to pay for it. Seriously. Every. Single. Time. The pattern continued into our dating years and – since I believe in sharing everything – I even brought the problem with me into our marriage. (You’re oh-so-welcome, Husband.) One car issue after another, always right when money wasn’t quite as tight but quickly becomes even more so after fixing the car.

I won’t mention any names, but one of us always throws fits when this happens… when the extra cash gets wasted on car problems instead of on bills, or updating furniture, or fun trips, or goals, or going into savings, or… or…anything other than bringing us right back to where we were before the stupid car broke down.

The other one of us looks at the glass half-full and is grateful for the blessing of God’s provision… money in hand right when it was needed.

This may be a dead giveaway as to which one of us is which but… Hmph. Blessing-shmessing.

This year has been no different. Lots of car issues and lots of “extra” funds down the oil-drain. So I know how pumped my wonderful husband must have felt when he came home one night this summer, led me by the hand into the living room, held my hand open and placed a set of van keys in my palm. “I love you,” he said. “It’s ours… paid in full.”

…Silence…

More silence. And staring. Only not the “you are so incredible and I am so amazed at this wonderful gift” kind of staring. It was more like, “You did what? You bought WHAT???” kind of staring.

I am absolutely certain my dear Husband did not expect that kind of reaction. In silence, he led me out to the new van where the kids sat in every leather seat and touched every button as they squealed with excitement. Matt pointed out a few features while watching me and waiting for a reaction, some sign that I wasn’t going to explode. “You ok?” He asked several times, uncertainty in his voice.

I just nodded in silence, not even looking at him.

Husband is no idiot. He knows a silent-nod-without eye-contact means I am absolutely not ok. He just didn’t know why I wasn’t ok. I mean, a new van (because he knew I wanted a mini-van or something similar… potential to grow a family, you know.) Very few miles on it, and car problems no more (because he knew that after 17 years of driving and 17 years of car headaches, I could use a break.) No stress of having to go through the car hunting (because he knew it would totally and completely stress me out.) No tension in the car buying/dickering (because he knew that would stress me out even more.) Purchased at a very good price (because he knows I love a good deal.)

And the best news of all? NO CAR PAYMENTS.  The new van was Paid. In. Full. 

Unfortunately, I have this little problem. Call it stubbornness. Call it pride. Call it whatever you’d like. The fact is, I reacted in a manner that would make you think the only thing he had given me was a headache. Or maybe also a bathroom scale, I was that mad.

Silence on the outside, but loud angry thoughts on the inside: “How DARE he? He didn’t even ask my opinion!! Maybe I like it, but WHAT IF I DIDN’T??? SO WHAT if he saved me tension, stress, and grief?… Maybe I WANT the tension, stress, and grief! SO WHAT if he knows more about this stuff?…I DIDN’T EVEN GET A SAY in it! HOW. DARE. HE???” 

My reaction was saying, “Yes, I want a vehicle. And yes, I’ll take it already paid for. But I want it MY WAY.”

No worries, though. Eventually, I came around. I love the van. I apologized for my reaction. Dear Husband was forgiving and full of grace. And I am so very grateful for the gift – no headaches or tension in the process – and especially that it was paid in full.

That phrase has whirled around in my head for a while now…. paid in full… This isn’t the first time I’ve reacted to a gift like that. To a gift that was paid in full. I have a problem, maybe I’m not the only one who does. It’s an “I didn’t get a say!” problem. An “I could’ve done it better!” problem. Because isn’t that exactly how I’ve reacted to Jesus?

Jesus’ gift of life. His death on the cross. An amazing gift – the most amazing gift – my debt, paid in full. No, I don’t have loud angry thoughts flooding my mind screaming “I DON’T WANT THIS GIFT!” On the contrary, my words and thoughts say how grateful I am, that I accept this gift wholeheartedly and with humility.

It is my behavior that says otherwise. Little choices or big attitudes. Every time I experience a disappointment, a hiccup in my “plan”, or I’m discontent in my circumstances. My discontentment just says, “THIS is what you have for me, God? I think maybe I could’ve done it better! No, I DEFINITELY could’ve done it better.” 

Each time I’m angry or frustrated at what comes my way, I’m saying (without saying it), “YOU DIDN’T EVEN GIVE ME A SAY! You may know more – lots LOTS more – but even so, THANKS, BUT NO THANKS.”

Each time I choose to live with my hands closed, not accepting what He has for me and clinging to what I already have, my actions say it loud and clear… “SO WHAT if you see the bigger picture. I don’t like your way.”

Each time, my reaction is saying, “Yes, I’ll take this gift. Yes, I’d like my debt of sin paid in full. But I think I’ll do it MY WAY, thankyouverymuch.”

But the truth is, God is no idiot. He knows my thoughts from afar and He is familiar with all my ways (Psalm 139:2-3). He knows what I need before I ask Him (Matthew 6:8). He knows the plans He has for me, plans to prosper and not to harm me (Jeremiah 29:11). The truth is, He knows. 

Unfortunately, I still have this problem. Call it stubbornness. Call it pride. Call it human nature. Call it whatever you’d like. The truth is, it is sin. Eventually – hopefully – I come around. Eventually – hopefully – I recognize and then apologize for my reaction. And thankfully, He is always – always – forgiving and full of grace.

And I am so grateful for His gift – this gift for me  – and for you – that was paid in full.

Summery Summary

Posted in joy found, laughter, my boy, my girl, my husband, parenting (aint for sissies), the relatives by

I am a list girl.

I make ’em. I categorize ’em. I stick to ’em. I stress when they aren’t getting crossed off quickly enough. When I defer from them and accomplish something else, I add it to the list just so I can cross it off. When I begin tasks without a list and later make one, I always, always include everything I’ve already done so I can remind myself I haven’t wasted my time.

And just between you and me, sometimes, when I need a victory – a bit of motivation and feeling of accomplishment for having actually gotten something done other than referee pre-school fights – I add this to my list: Make to-do list. It’s an automatic win.

…I just had a thought. I should add that to my lists, too. Referee pre-school fights. Another guaranteed success. And while I’m at it, I may as well include change a thousand diapers and feed bottomless pit children…

So at the start of this summer, when I usually make my long list of things to accomplish before school starts back up, I had a thought. I need to stop. The lists, while they just feel so good to cross off, seriously make me crazy when they sit, staring at me void of lines. A list of 27 items not crossed off is a list of 27 ways I’ve failed. 27 reasons to stress out – no, to panic – and start acting like a crazy woman because nothing else matters but those 27 stupid things. So, at the start of THIS summer, I decided to not make a list.

I decided that, then I made one anyway. It was 2 pages, 2 columns per page, typed in 12 point font. C’mon, what did you think? Addicts don’t often quit cold-turkey.

So yes, I made the list, but then I folded it up and set it aside. Available, but not in my face.

And then I made a new summer to do list:

  1. Live slowly
  2. Love deeply
  3. Laugh often.

Aaaand I stuck to it! Yay, ME!

Ok, so maybe I didn’t exactly live slowly, but I did attempt to live in the moment. I did live fully, enjoying the right now. And I loved and laughed. A lot.

What I didn’t do is write about it all. (Because I was living fully in the moment, remember?) So now I will attempt to summarize. Our 2012 summer and first few weeks of September:

  • July: Play hard. Beach, berry-picking, VBS, play-dates, walks, bike rides, Edaleen Dairy, slip ‘n’ slide, campfires at Grandma & Grandpa’s, and lots more.
  • August: Family. Long lost sisters! Cousins, cousins, and more cousins.
  • September: Back to routine. School/work, ballet & tap, Kids’ Bible Class, new (and also awesome) babysitter.

Our family’s personal highlights:

  • Annalise: Definitely not when she sprained her finger. Definitely moments spent playing with her long lost cousin, Ellia.
  • Jacob: Definitely not riding the dragon roller coaster at the fair. (They let him off – sobbing – after one lap.) His summer favorite is a tie between: 1) Getting a new dog. (Dog loves him. He loves her. Best friends for life… which (hers) may not be long if Matt has something to say about it.) and 2) Playing at the park with the new love of his life, Julianne. Too bad she’s about 17 years older than him.
  • Matt: Not sure he really had a summer. It was more like 2 full time jobs. But his highs were when we were around and he had time to be with us. Lows were when we spent a week in Nevada without him. 😦
  • Me: Hmmm… How do I choose? What’s not to love about spending 8 weeks not working and enjoying every moment with people I love? I know, lame. But seriously the truth.

Summer/September notables:

  1. Annalise went from a size 11 1/2 shoe to a size 13. And she is officially wearing clothing sizes that I remember wearing. Ack!
  2. Jacob didn’t learn his lesson and stuck a raisin waaayyyy up his nose. 24 hours of forced nose-blowing, pepper-induced sneezes, and flashlight shining up nostrils later, the long lost raising was recovered out of his crib.
  3. Matt shot 15 weddings and about 5,000 other shoots and spent every spare second of summer editing. If he wasn’t drinking all the coffee around here, I mighta thought he had fallen off the planet.
  4. I lost some weight before summer started. Good thing, because what once was lost now has been found. UGH. While I could blame my poor summer diet or seriously lacking summer exercise “routine,” I’d rather just blame my mom and sisters. Because really, I pretty much gain weight any time I am with them or when I stay at my mom’s. Clearly, it’s their fault.
  5. Izzy. She’s the new dog. a.k.a. “Dizzy.” She’s cute (part Yorkie), but I am embarrassed to admit that she is also part chihuahua. Just call me Paris Hilton. Yes, I do own doggie sweaters for her, but they were inherited with the mutt. A package deal. You can really start worrying if you see me carrying her in a bag. (She’d fit nicely in my current purse.) As my older sister says when she looks at her, “Yo quiero Taco Bell.”
  6. Minnie. She’s the new van. A mini-van. Love her. More than the new dog who may or may not have just peed on my couch.
  7. We *might* have alerted the staff in the polar bear section of the Point Defiance Zoo that there was a reindeer walking past our car in the parking lot. And the zoo staff *might* have gotten on the walkie-talkie to the keepers at the reindeer/bison exhibit to warn them of a potential escape. And that reindeer *might* have just turned out to be a regular old deer with velvety antlers. Who knew? (Not us, clearly.)
  8. While Jacob is great at spotting chewed gum on the ground in public locations (must be his closer proximity), only TWICE did he pick it up and chew it. But no worries… he put it back right where he found it both times.
  9. If you’re ever going to get pulled over for a driving a stolen vehicle, make sure you have several adults, 4 kids, and a dog with you, not to mention a trunk full of suitcases. You’ll look less suspicious. Oh, and make sure the vehicle isn’t actually stolen.
  10. Every minute of August was a notable. Lots of memory making with family. I am so grateful.

And this:

Thanks, Ann Voskamp. I feel better about #4 now.

To all, LOVES.

the one my soul loves

Posted in Eucharisteo, grace, holidays, my husband by

For a few weeks now, I’ve wondered what I could write on here for an anniversary post. I wanted to write something to you. I mean, I’ve already written about many things I love, things that have changed me. God and his grace, our kids, the twins, my parents. And although you’ve appeared in some of the posts, it is usually just so I can tease or mock you. (It’s my way of flirting with you, you know.)

But I couldn’t quite figure out how to write an anniversary post. What do I say to the person who has been there as I’ve struggled through my anger towards God and listens as I learn about His grace, to the person who held me through the twins, who talked me through the fears and did more disgusting jobs than I’d care to admit, who loves me in my mommy failures and laughs with me through the hilarious moments of parenting? I’ve written about all those things, but what do I write to you, the one who has been there all along?

And then I realized the words I’m looking for…

Thank you.

Thank you for holding me, loving me, guiding me, helping me grow.

The verse we used on our wedding invitations was,“I have found the one my soul loves.” ~Song of Solomon 3:4

It’s funny, how perspectives change after just 7 years of marriage. I did love you then. But 7 years later, I am realizing I didn’t know how much I could love you. I didn’t fully understand the depths of that verse. I know now. No, I’m learning.

My soul loves how you hold me in quiet, when there are no words to describe the hurt.

My soul loves how you walk in the door and make the kids and I laugh after a long day for us, and for you at work. When I am about to pull my hair out, and they are about to knock each others’ teeth out. You calm us and help us enjoy being together once again. A “magic closet” that gets rid of grumpiness? Pure genius.

My soul loves how you ask me questions that stretch my faith, at just the right moment. How when I scream and yell at God and act irrationally, you are steady. And you are okay that I am not.

My soul loves how in my most unlovable moments, you love me most. I think you are showing me a glimpse of how God loves me fully. Unconditionally. You love me like that. You love me with grace.

My soul loves how you put us first. How there is nothing you’d rather be doing than just being with me and the kids.

And even if my ears don’t always, my soul loves, and I mean really really loves, when you sing, and when you make up songs that keep us all laughing and singing too.

My soul loves a million more things about you.

And I just wanted to say thank you. For loving me like that. I love you, too. Really bad.

Happy anniversary, to the one my soul loves.