2 of 40 – Halloween Costumes!

Day 2 Topic: Family

I never did get around to posting Halloween costumes on Halloween. So this makes for an easy Day 2 of “40 Days of Faith, Family, and Funnies.”

First, I must apologize to all those who share my Ferndale roots. It wasn’t planned, but it just worked out this way…

Yes, that is a Lynden Lion and a Lynden Cheerleader. And yes, they are roaring. Like I said, Ferndale folks… I’m sorry.

He wanted to be a lion. She wanted to be the princess from Brave. I didn’t want to spend $50 on costumes. My favorite consignment store had the lion costume for a couple bucks. She already had the cheerleader costume and was satisfied.

Nearly Free Halloween Costumes = Happy Momma

Happy Momma > Alma Mater Loyalty

Therefore…Nearly Free Halloween Costumes > Alma Mater Loyalty.  It just is.

P.S. I love that right now, as the presidential race results are being televised, my kids are in their room singing at the top of their lungs, “Our God is a GREAT BIG GOD. Our God is a GREAT BIG GOD! Our God is a GREAT BIG GOD, and He HOLDS US IN HIS HANDS!” Thankful for them. Thankful for HIM. Thankful HE is in charge, no matter who is president.

Paid in Full

Matt and I have had our fair share of car issues. I’d say more than our fair share, actually. Since I was in college, every single time I got a little extra cash, something went wrong with my car and said cash was used to pay for it. Seriously. Every. Single. Time. The pattern continued into our dating years and – since I believe in sharing everything – I even brought the problem with me into our marriage. (You’re oh-so-welcome, Husband.) One car issue after another, always right when money wasn’t quite as tight but quickly becomes even more so after fixing the car.

I won’t mention any names, but one of us always throws fits when this happens… when the extra cash gets wasted on car problems instead of on bills, or updating furniture, or fun trips, or goals, or going into savings, or… or…anything other than bringing us right back to where we were before the stupid car broke down.

The other one of us looks at the glass half-full and is grateful for the blessing of God’s provision… money in hand right when it was needed.

This may be a dead giveaway as to which one of us is which but… Hmph. Blessing-shmessing.

This year has been no different. Lots of car issues and lots of “extra” funds down the oil-drain. So I know how pumped my wonderful husband must have felt when he came home one night this summer, led me by the hand into the living room, held my hand open and placed a set of van keys in my palm. “I love you,” he said. “It’s ours… paid in full.”

…Silence…

More silence. And staring. Only not the “you are so incredible and I am so amazed at this wonderful gift” kind of staring. It was more like, “You did what? You bought WHAT???” kind of staring.

I am absolutely certain my dear Husband did not expect that kind of reaction. In silence, he led me out to the new van where the kids sat in every leather seat and touched every button as they squealed with excitement. Matt pointed out a few features while watching me and waiting for a reaction, some sign that I wasn’t going to explode. “You ok?” He asked several times, uncertainty in his voice.

I just nodded in silence, not even looking at him.

Husband is no idiot. He knows a silent-nod-without eye-contact means I am absolutely not ok. He just didn’t know why I wasn’t ok. I mean, a new van (because he knew I wanted a mini-van or something similar… potential to grow a family, you know.) Very few miles on it, and car problems no more (because he knew that after 17 years of driving and 17 years of car headaches, I could use a break.) No stress of having to go through the car hunting (because he knew it would totally and completely stress me out.) No tension in the car buying/dickering (because he knew that would stress me out even more.) Purchased at a very good price (because he knows I love a good deal.)

And the best news of all? NO CAR PAYMENTS.  The new van was Paid. In. Full. 

Unfortunately, I have this little problem. Call it stubbornness. Call it pride. Call it whatever you’d like. The fact is, I reacted in a manner that would make you think the only thing he had given me was a headache. Or maybe also a bathroom scale, I was that mad.

Silence on the outside, but loud angry thoughts on the inside: “How DARE he? He didn’t even ask my opinion!! Maybe I like it, but WHAT IF I DIDN’T??? SO WHAT if he saved me tension, stress, and grief?… Maybe I WANT the tension, stress, and grief! SO WHAT if he knows more about this stuff?…I DIDN’T EVEN GET A SAY in it! HOW. DARE. HE???” 

My reaction was saying, “Yes, I want a vehicle. And yes, I’ll take it already paid for. But I want it MY WAY.”

No worries, though. Eventually, I came around. I love the van. I apologized for my reaction. Dear Husband was forgiving and full of grace. And I am so very grateful for the gift – no headaches or tension in the process – and especially that it was paid in full.

That phrase has whirled around in my head for a while now…. paid in full… This isn’t the first time I’ve reacted to a gift like that. To a gift that was paid in full. I have a problem, maybe I’m not the only one who does. It’s an “I didn’t get a say!” problem. An “I could’ve done it better!” problem. Because isn’t that exactly how I’ve reacted to Jesus?

Jesus’ gift of life. His death on the cross. An amazing gift – the most amazing gift – my debt, paid in full. No, I don’t have loud angry thoughts flooding my mind screaming “I DON’T WANT THIS GIFT!” On the contrary, my words and thoughts say how grateful I am, that I accept this gift wholeheartedly and with humility.

It is my behavior that says otherwise. Little choices or big attitudes. Every time I experience a disappointment, a hiccup in my “plan”, or I’m discontent in my circumstances. My discontentment just says, “THIS is what you have for me, God? I think maybe I could’ve done it better! No, I DEFINITELY could’ve done it better.” 

Each time I’m angry or frustrated at what comes my way, I’m saying (without saying it), “YOU DIDN’T EVEN GIVE ME A SAY! You may know more – lots LOTS more – but even so, THANKS, BUT NO THANKS.”

Each time I choose to live with my hands closed, not accepting what He has for me and clinging to what I already have, my actions say it loud and clear… “SO WHAT if you see the bigger picture. I don’t like your way.

Each time, my reaction is saying, “Yes, I’ll take this gift. Yes, I’d like my debt of sin paid in full. But I think I’ll do it MY WAY, thankyouverymuch.”

But the truth is, God is no idiot. He knows my thoughts from afar and He is familiar with all my ways (Psalm 139:2-3). He knows what I need before I ask Him (Matthew 6:8). He knows the plans He has for me, plans to prosper and not to harm me (Jeremiah 29:11). The truth is, He knows. 

Unfortunately, I still have this problem. Call it stubbornness. Call it pride. Call it human nature. Call it whatever you’d like. The truth is, it is sin. Eventually – hopefully – I come around. Eventually – hopefully – I recognize and then apologize for my reaction. And thankfully, He is always – always – forgiving and full of grace.

And I am so grateful for His gift – this gift for me  – and for you – that was paid in full.

12 sleeps and snow

12 SLEEPS!    JUST 12 MORE SLEEPS!!

My sister and nieces are coming! The ones I haven’t seen in over 2 years!! The niece that Leesie longs to play with so much she named her imaginary friend then blue bat friend after her. And the other niece that I haven’t seen since she was two months old. THEY WILL BE HERE AFTER JUST 12 MORE SLEEPS!

Not that I’m excited or anything. Ok, I’m ecstatic!!!

And as if that weren’t exciting enough, we – my big sis and I – are taking a road trip with our 4 kids to see our lil’ sis in Nevada! I haven’t seen her in far too long either. Aaaaaaaaaannd, we will be meeting our brand new adorable baby nephew, Mason! Who hasn’t actually been born yet, but I already know he’s adorable. And my older sis and nieces will meet Mason’s big brother, Riley for the first time, too – even though he’s 1 already 1 1/2. And I will get to squish-kiss his adorable cheeks.

AND ALL THE 6 COUSINS WILL GET TO PLAY TOGETHER for the first time! Well, Mason will probably just want to sleep since he’ll be just a week or two old. Every party has a pooper…

Aaaaand, my mom will be there, too, because she is flying down to be there when Mason makes his appearance.

So to sum up:

Mom + her 3 girls + all six (by then) grandchildren on this earth (3 boys, 3 girls) + 1 husband (Kylie’s) = LOADS AND LOADS OF FUN AND MEMORY MAKING that hasn’t happened since… since everbecause the last time we were all together at the same time was 2 years and 5 months ago, and 3 of these babies – all the boy grandbabies – didn’t even exist yet!

Sadly, we will really miss dad, and 2 of the husbands (mine and Korie’s).

Hmmmm…. The 3 men that have been around the longest in this family are not going to be there at the reunion of the 3 sisters and mother + 6 grandbabies. I wonder if they have some wisdom from experience they forgot to share with Ryan…

Kidding, of course. They are all working. I know they – dad especially – would love to be there. Hoping and praying for a reunion next year that includes all of us.

I’ve done a few re-posts of Facebook notes I wrote over the last year to keep them all in one place. I only have a couple left. The one below was for my niece, Ellia, on her 4th birthday this past January. Since I get to see her in just 12 sleeps and she is on my mind constantly right now, I’m posting it today.

I LOVE YOU, Ellia!! I can’t wait to see you and your mommy and sis in just 12 sleeps!!!! (And YOU Kylie, Ryan, Riley, and Mason – just shortly after that!) This is one happy girl over here!!!

A Prayer for Snow – January 26, 2012

Last week, when many of us were waking up to inches of snow, my older sister and her family were “enduring” temperatures in the upper 80s. They live in Surabaya, Indonesia, where they serve as missionaries and pastor a church. Korie and John have two adorable girls (my adorable nieces), Ellia and Alyssa, who have spent most of their short lives (they’re just 4 and almost 2), over there.

 So while we were all posting pictures of sledding, snowmen and igloos, Ellia was praying for God to send snow to Surabaya. “Mommy, I’m afraid that I’m never going to see snow again!” she said. Even when she was told God would probably not answer her prayer for snow in their hot city, she said, “It’s ok, I’ll just keep praying.” (Now there is a girl with some faith.) Korie posted Ellia’s comment on Facebook and told all their Washington friends and family to enjoy the snow. I read the post and felt sad for my little niece who likely wouldn’t understand why God wouldn’t answer such a simple request for snow. (Oh, ME of little faith.)

So here’s what happened…

I was typing up a response to Korie, when I looked up and read the response above mine. A friend of hers posted something about fake snow that looks and feels like the real thing. I remembered seeing the same stuff when I went to Victorian Christmas. I was with some church friends at the time, and one of them had mentioned purchasing some in Whatcom County for her grandkids before Thanksgiving.

I called her up. She said she bought it at Grandiflora in Lynden, but that was before Thanksgiving. She doubted they’d still be carrying it now. I called there. No answer. It was the middle of a snowstorm and all the county schools were closed as well as some businesses. I figured Grandiflora was closed, too.

So I called Michaels. They were out and wouldn’t have it until Christmas. I called JoAnns. Out. I was actually ok with that, though, because I was without a car and there was a snowstorm, so really how would I get it anyway?

 I searched the internet and found a couple brands that were kind of pricey, and I didn’t want to add shipping costs on top of the shipping costs I’d have sending it to Indonesia. I figured I’d wait and when I came across it, I’d pick it up and send it to her. It just may not be until next Christmas.

Then I remembered Grandiflora had a voicemail box. I called them back to leave a message. Only this time someone answered.

I described the product I was looking for. She knew what it was but thought it was an odd request considering the weather. After all, I could just step outside and get as much as I’d like for free. She was kind, but said that although they had some packs left, they had already packed it up with some other stuff for next season. It would probably be very difficult to find, and the owners weren’t in. She didn’t even know where to begin to look.

So I began to tell her the story of my little niece’s childlike faith and her prayer for snow… only I didn’t get very far. I barely got the those words out when the woman on the other end nearly shouted, “Oh! It’s here! It’s here! God just directed my eyes RIGHT to it!” She seemed very surprised, because it was supposed to have been packed up, but there was an entire box of snow that had not gotten put away.

Perfect.

She set aside 6 packs for me and put the rest away. Now I just had to get through the real snow to pick it up … Thankfully, unlike Michael’s and JoAnn’s, Grandiflora is only a couple miles away and Matt would be home with a car before they closed.

Now here is what I love about this. Ellia was going to get snow. It was set aside for us to get. But even better, she was going to get it while we still had snow. Because my mom – who has never traveled out of the US/Canada – was going to visit Korie, John, Ellia and Alyssa. And she was leaving in three days.

Just the fact that she was going at all was a miracle. It wasn’t likely going to ever happen, but a wonderful friend blessed mom with a trip and didn’t give her a choice. Mom was going. Another wonderful friend blessed mom by going with her. They – and the snow – would be arriving the day before Ellia’s birthday.

We had just enough time to wait out the real snow, get the fake snow, and drive it (safely) down to Mt. Vernon to meet my mom and stick it in her suitcase as she was leaving.

Mom and Darlene boarded a plane and about 36 hours later, they were in Indonesia. It was evening there, and by the time they got to Korie’s house, everyone was exhausted. I don’t imagine there would have even been time for playing in the snow even if they wanted to. It would have to wait until the next day, Ellia’s birthday.

So guess what? Ellia got snow. It arrived on her birthday. With about 16 Indonesian friends who I’m guessing have never ever seen it before and may not ever again. My sister says it was a hit. They all played and played and played in it. They went outside and threw it in the air and at each other. A little boy who has cried the whole time every time he’s been at Korie’s before laughed and played for the first time. Ellia got snow. With friends. In Surabaya. On her birthday. Just a week after she first prayed for it.

You may be rolling your eyes. “Why would God answer that prayer?” And I’ll admit. I thought it too. “Poor Ellia. God won’t be answering her prayer for snow.”

But then again, why wouldn’t He? He is GOD, after all. Clearly HE is capable. But snow? In Surabaya? Just because a little girl prayed for it? That’s really just a child’s silly wish, right?

Here’s the thing. God answered Ellia’s prayer. Not in the way she expected, but it was answered nonetheless. Some may read this and chalk it up to a series of coincidences. But I know God loves us. He knows us. It says in Isaiah 43:1, “I have called you by name, you are mine.”   We are HIS. I am HIS. Ellia, YOU are GOD’s.

He not only loves us and knows us, but He delights in us. Zephaniah 3:17 “The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.”  We are HIS children. What father doesn’t take joy in the laughter of his children? What father doesn’t rejoice and celebrate the life of his child?

I will be the first to say that every request we bring to him isn’t granted. I’ve had some big requests go unfulfilled. It doesn’t always make sense. But I do know that His thoughts are not our thoughts, His ways are not our ways (Isaiah 55:8). I guess when it comes down to it, I’m thankful for that. My ways are awfully selfish. And I don’t see the picture He sees. And I know God isn’t our magic genie to be used to grant wishes.

So why the snow? I know some people will read this and think, “God doesn’t do stuff like that. He isn’t worried about silly requests like that.” I’ve even heard friends say, “God doesn’t have time for those little prayers. He’s too busy dealing with wars and big stuff.” I say to you, don’t minimize the power of God. He is all-powerful. He is all knowing. He is supreme. And I am so thankful that he is not so distracted by the “big” events of the world that he has no time for me. Because not even the biggest events in my life can compare to the massive needs in the world.  If God was “too busy dealing,” he would never have time for me. Or probably you.

But he is not too busy. He is not distracted. He is not a distant God that only cares about “big things.” WE are HIS. HE cares about US. EACH of us. He is WITH us.

And he rejoices over us with singing.

Ellia had a little prayer with some massive faith. And she is God’s. HE cares about HER.

Sweet Ellia, GOD delights in YOU. HE was rejoicing over YOU with singing on your birthday. HE was celebrating YOU.

Happy 4th birthday, my beautiful niece.

the one my soul loves

For a few weeks now, I’ve wondered what I could write on here for an anniversary post. I wanted to write something to you. I mean, I’ve already written about many things I love, things that have changed me. God and his grace, our kids, the twins, my parents. And although you’ve appeared in some of the posts, it is usually just so I can tease or mock you. (It’s my way of flirting with you, you know.)

But I couldn’t quite figure out how to write an anniversary post. What do I say to the person who has been there as I’ve struggled through my anger towards God and listens as I learn about His grace, to the person who held me through the twins, who talked me through the fears and did more disgusting jobs than I’d care to admit, who loves me in my mommy failures and laughs with me through the hilarious moments of parenting? I’ve written about all those things, but what do I write to you, the one who has been there all along?

And then I realized the words I’m looking for…

Thank you.

Thank you for holding me, loving me, guiding me, helping me grow.

The verse we used on our wedding invitations was,“I have found the one my soul loves.” ~Song of Solomon 3:4

It’s funny, how perspectives change after just 7 years of marriage. I did love you then. But 7 years later, I am realizing I didn’t know how much I could love you. I didn’t fully understand the depths of that verse. I know now. No, I’m learning.

My soul loves how you hold me in quiet, when there are no words to describe the hurt.

My soul loves how you walk in the door and make the kids and I laugh after a long day for us, and for you at work. When I am about to pull my hair out, and they are about to knock each others’ teeth out. You calm us and help us enjoy being together once again. A “magic closet” that gets rid of grumpiness? Pure genius.

My soul loves how you ask me questions that stretch my faith, at just the right moment. How when I scream and yell at God and act irrationally, you are steady. And you are okay that I am not.

My soul loves how in my most unlovable moments, you love me most. I think you are showing me a glimpse of how God loves me fully. Unconditionally. You love me like that. You love me with grace.

My soul loves how you put us first. How there is nothing you’d rather be doing than just being with me and the kids.

And even if my ears don’t always, my soul loves, and I mean really really loves, when you sing, and when you make up songs that keep us all laughing and singing too.

My soul loves a million more things about you.

And I just wanted to say thank you. For loving me like that. I love you, too. Really bad.

Happy anniversary, to the one my soul loves.

A Reminder

For me, really…

“Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent.” Proverbs 17:28

That’s all I have to say about that.