Give and Take

I have had the honor of assisting Matt at several weddings he’s photographed. Sometimes, these weddings are out of town. All the time, I’m not needed for as long as he is. This results in me spending anywhere from 1-4 hours alone in semi-dressy attire in a city where I know no one and have no home to go to. Which results in a trip to a coffee shop. And since I’m not used to sitting in quiet all by my lonesome, this quiet alone time – although glorious – can only last so long.

Which is why I’ve taken up shopping. What else is a girl to do?

If you’ve known me most of my life, you know that I have always disliked – no, completely loathed – shopping. But in these times where I have a need to fill up a few spare hours, I’ve discovered that I don’t hate it. I just like it better by myself. No kids. No waiting. No going to stores I’m not interested in. I can go where I want and look for what I want. Another pair of earrings and a long necklace? Don’t mind if I do.

It’s worked out nicely so far.

On the wedding day, Matt and I have an early breakfast together. I take him to the location and drop him off. I shop for a bit – likely for clothes for myself. I know, right? All mothers out there are in a bit of shock after reading that last sentence. Because how many of us ever get the chance to do that, and then ACTUALLY DO IT? ALONE, no less???

(Two years ago, it took me 3 trips to the mall with my two little humans to find a single bra, then I bought 3 dozen of them just so as to never have to experience that again. Ever.)

(Ok, maybe not 3 dozen, because who could ever afford that many bras? They are ridiculously expensive. And the worst kind of purchase – for something you already have and never wanted in the first place. It’s like spending money on a car tune up. You don’t really want it, and it hurts paying the bill. Things may seem just fine as they are, but without it, you may find yourself hanging out in an awkward situation. Car tune-ups and bras: they are necessities for avoiding bigger problems.)

Then I hit a coffee shop before joining Matt at the wedding location, my purchases safely stowed away in the car. Like I said, it’s worked out nicely so far.

Except that lately, I don’t go to as many weddings. Which means I don’t have this alone time where I get to shop for the things I desire enough to purchase, but not enough to drag my kids into the store with me to do so.

And then, I discovered Amazon.

Oh, I already knew it existed and had used it some. I just didn’t take full advantage of it until lately.

Matt has shot 16 weddings so far this year. I only helped him at 3. Which means during the other 13, I’ve spent some of the time he’s been gone ordering things on Amazon. Because seriously, you just have to click a few buttons, and the stuff comes right to your door. I don’t have to even get my purse out. Or shower. Or put on one of those aforementioned necessities if I don’t feel like it.

I may have already redecorated our entire bedroom due to Amazon purchases that occurred while he was away working very hard. Did you know they will ship king size headboards FOR FREE?

I may have bought myself a kayak. And technically, this wasn’t an Amazon purchase. It was a Craigslist one. Still online, but I did end up having to get dressed and go out of the house, a whole 3 blocks away. Sometimes, life is hard.

I may have purchased gifts for the kids, some which they already received, some which I’m stashing away for birthdays and Christmas. See how ahead I am? This online shopping is really going to benefit us in the long run.

My shopping-while-Matt-is-at-a-wedding frenzy hasn’t gone unnoticed by him. After all, we share a bank account. And an Amazon account. And an email account.

Which means he gets email notifications on his phone of Amazon purchases while he is at the weddings.

Which is why – while at his last wedding – he received a text that said, “You’ll be getting an email confirmation about an Amazon order any minute. Unless I get it and delete it first. In which case, I just admitted my guilt for no reason.”

Followed by, “But I would like to say in my defense, they are gifts for my sisters.”

15 minutes later, I received his reply. “🙂 Love you.

And so my point is this…

Marriage is full of give and take. Sure, he’s doing a whole lot more of the giving in this scenario and I’m doing a whole lot more of the taking, but sometimes marriage can be hard like that.

And my point is also this…

You know you’ve married a good man when his only response to your purchasing frenzy is “Love you.” Although I can’t be certain he ever saw the previous texts, since he’s always so busy at weddings. And I did get to the Amazon email first and deleted it. So that “I love you” may have been just because he was in the middle of documenting a romantic union of two love-birds and suddenly missed me terribly. But I’m guessing not.

And I would also like to make this point…

Money can’t buy you happiness. But it can get you a pretty sweet king size headboard shipped right to your door and about anything else you can imagine with just a few clicks.

Except love. It can’t buy you that either. Good thing I don’t need it, though. ‘Cause I already got myself the best.

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