Jacob: Mama, can I have some fwoss, pwease?
Me (knowing he never wants floss to actually floss): What do you want the floss for, bud?
Jacob: To pick my boogers.
Me: Jacob, I think you should use tissue to pick out your boogers.
Jacob: No, I don’t want da tissue in my mouf. Dat’s why I want da fwoss.
Me: So the boogers are in your mouth?
Jacob: Yep. I put ’em dere after I picked my nose.
Me: And now they’re stuck in your teeth?
Jacob: Yah… Can I have da fwoss pwease?
Me: Why did you eat your boogers? That’s so gross, buddy. You need to get a tissue next time.
Jacob: But I was in time out. I was in time out when I picked my nose. So I put da boogers in my mouf and now day are stuck in my teef. Can I have da fwoss now pwease???
Who wants to kiss my adorable (and obedient) boy????