Category Archives: parenting (aint for sissies)

Baby Steps

Posted in laughter, my girl, parenting (aint for sissies), the relatives by

Want to make me bawl like a baby?  Hurt my family.  Make fun of a kid.  Tell me a sad story of heartache.

Or apparently, give my daughter a haircut.

That’s right, folks. We did it. We took our girl for her first ever hair cut.

She was born with a full mop…

and we’ve let it grow…

and grow…

   

and grow…

   

and GROW!

   

Until it was so long, that she was in danger of Auntie Ko-Ko putting her hair in a bun.

~ Side-story: My little sis, Kylie, once had hair as long as Annalise when she was young. She liked it in a bun for bath-time. One night, she forgot to have someone pin it up and was about to step in the tub when she remembered. Running into the living room buck naked, she asked someone to put her hair in a bun. My older sis, Korie (11 1/2 years Kylie’s senior) volunteered. As Kylie backed her little naked body up to Korie, Korie grabbed her hair and stuck it right between Kylie’s butt-cheeks and said, “There. It’s in a bun.” Kylie didn’t find it funny. Korie found it hilarious.

Korie may live in Indonesia, but I still think it’s best to avoid bun-length hair. ~

For Leesie, as it is for all of us, some hair days were better than others…

   
So with her hair approaching “bun length” and with more frequent bad hair days recently, we thought it might be time to get it chopped.

I probably should have taken her in when she told Auntie Nee that her hair falls in her potty when she goes. (I don’t really think it did.)

Or maybe I should have scheduled the appointment 4 months ago after the Target fiasco. Long story short: Me, 2 kids, 1 dirty public restroom, 1 full cart of yet-to-be-purchased household necessities left in the clothing section as I run with said 2 kids to the potty for an “emergency” and end up with 1 girl’s long hair in the toilet as she bent down to pull her pants back up. I saw it coming. I hollered. Then gagged as she pulled wet hair back out. It could have been prevented if I had a free hand. But I happened to be busy frantically putting Jacob on my shoulders to stop him from reaching in the little secret garbage box in the stall, then frantically pulling him back down and covering his mouth after he tried to look over the stall at the nice lady next door. “Peek! I see you!”

In any case, I postponed the haircut because I wasn’t sure I could go through with it. Those baby curls at the bottom of her long beautiful hair would be gone. They’ve been there 4 years, 4 months, and 17 days. No – even longer, since her hair was growing well before she was born.

So today, when we decided to finally do it, I was nervous. She was nervous. She couldn’t eat breakfast because her “tummy felt funny.” I couldn’t eat breakfast because I was crying. She brought bear-bear to hold. I just held tissues.

  

“How much do you want cut?” the hairdresser asked.

Not much. Baby steps. I don’t want her to grow up. I’m not ready for this. “Oh, just an inch or two. We still want it long.”

  

Matt says it doesn’t look much different. I am happy about that. Maybe next time we can go shorter. Or not. We’ll see. For now, I’m just trying to figure out how to survive her growing up when I couldn’t even keep it together at the hair salon.

And in case you’re wondering, yes, I did keep one lock of baby curls. I’ll have to keep them in her baby book. She certainly isn’t a baby anymore. I love you, my big girl!

  

A Little Extra Awesome

Posted in joy found, laughter, my boy, my girl, my husband, parenting (aint for sissies) by

People often say being a mom (or parent) is a thankless job. While I have some serious evidence from this past week to support this claim, I have to disagree. Don’t get me wrong. Parenting is hard, stressful, and draining work. And the thank-yous don’t usually flow freely. And people judge what you do or don’t do or tell you how they did/do it better. And as a mommy, you carry enough guilt to fill an airport’s worth of suitcases. And just when you have worked your hardest and sacrificed the most and are maybe feeling like you did something right for once, someone – likely your own child – will say or do something that makes you feel like you are a major failure or make you wonder why you bother working so hard and sacrificing so much. But even then, it is not a thankless job. Let me tell you why…

These past two weeks have been a challenge in the parenting department for me.

Scratch that. These past two weeks have been down right miserable in the parenting department. Lots of meltdowns. From me, I mean. LOTS. I think I was pretty close to a nervous break down on more than one occasion. And while I don’t think I did a horrific job, I’m certain I won’t be winning any “Mother of the Year” awards.

But here’s the thing. Even during these weeks, there were moments where the work was worth it, where my kids said or did something that made me feel appreciated, loved, and in their own way – thanked. Each time one of these things happened, I couldn’t help but think about how awesome my kids are and how blessed I am to have them.

I’m pretty sure most parents think their own kids are the coolest. I definitely think all kids are cool. They just are. Kids are awesome. And I know we’re biased, but Matt and I think ours are extra awesome. We often say to each other, “Why do you think God put so much extra awesome in Leesie?” Or, “Do you think other people realize all the extra awesome Jacob has?” (We have our theories as to why they have this extra awesome, and none of them have to do with us. We’re pretty certain it’s not genetics.)

My point is this – as a parent, when you see the extra awesome in your own kids, you can’t help but know it’s all worth it. That it isn’t a thankless job. That even if I don’t win any “Mother of the Year” awards, I could put my kids up against any other for “Awesomest Kids” awards and to me, mine would win every time.

Here are some recent “extra awesome” moments:

– Jacob is THE most thankful boy I know. He says thank you – or tank you – to everything. For example, on his first snowy day, he was so excited to get outside and play. But first came a diaper change and layers of clothes. He thanked me after each step. Cleaned bottom? “Tank you, Mama.” Medicine on butt? “Tank you for meh-sin, Mama.” Diaper? Onesie? Each and every layer of clothing – including 4 socks, 2 boots, and 2 gloves? “Tank you.” “Tanks, Mama.” “Tanks foh glub, Mama.” “Tanks foh udder glub. I luh you so much.” I was thanked for each thing. (See? Who says this is a thankless job? Not me!) But seriously. Such thankfulness for a one-year-old is definitely extra awesome.

– Annalise’s “Naked Dance.” Pure hilarious entertainment. And definitely extra awesome. Plus, her little brother now does it. Double extra awesomeness.

– Jacob’s singing. While whatever he sings is awesome enough, he changes the words, gets a sly smile on his face, then stops and says, “WHAT??” And laughs at his own joke. Extra awesome.

– Annalise’s ability to make up a song about anything, anytime, anywhere. Sometimes as a response to me. “Leesie, it’s bath time.” Singing response, “It’s tiiiimmmmeee for a baaaattthh. Oh you knoooowwwwwww it’s time to get cleeeaaaannn…”And on and on goes the awesomeness.

– Pretty much anytime Jacob talks, it’s full of extra awesome. His seemingly limitless vocabulary + his adorable facial expressions on two chubby cheeks = daily extra awesome.

– Leesie’s prayers. Her heart. Her desire to be mighty for God. “Mom, I want to be mighty for God. I really do. I just don’t hear Him talking to me. How am I ‘posed to know how to be mighty for Him when He isn’t tellin’ me any words?” I reminded her that we can read the Bible and learn what He wants us to do – (like obey mommy and daddy, right?) “Mom, that’s what He wants everyone to do. I want to know what He wants me to do that is mighty for Him.” How extra awesome is that?

– Jacob walking. When he’s in an extra awesomely good mood, he struts to a beat like he has music playing in his head.

– The hilarious comments both of them make. I post a lot of them on Facebook. But we’re probably laughing 10 times more than what I post. And each time I think, “There it is. The extra awesome.”

My dad always says, “I just can’t figure out how they got to be so cute!” (I’m a bit offended at his tone of surprise. Apparently he is certain it isn’t genetics, either. Thanks, Dad.) I just have to tell him, “Yep. They’re pretty extra awesome.”

Matt always says, “We got some pretty extra awesome kids here. That’s pretty amazing considering… I just don’t think we’d want to risk having a third, because, well, you know. The chances of three turning out so awesome aren’t very good.” (Again, I’d like to know what is wrong with us that it is so shocking we have awesome kids!)

I think he’s wrong. Because I think any kid we have would be extra awesome to us. I think every parent has the ability to see the extra awesome in their own children. Sometimes we just get too busy to look for it, too frustrated to see it, or we don’t feel appreciated in all the work we do. It’s easy to forget that while kids won’t always say, “Thank you, Mama, for doing my laundry while I threw a fit about picking up my own mess,” they have other ways of showing their love and appreciation. When they feel safe and loved, kids maybe just thank you by filling your day with all their extra awesome.

Tested

Posted in friends, grief and loss, holidays, joy found, my boy, my girl, my husband, parenting (aint for sissies), teaching, the relatives by

I was so gung-ho about a blog. I was excited, motivated, and had lots of things I wanted to write about. But then this week happened.

I will not go into details, but basically, this has been one of THE most challenging weeks I can remember: spiritually, emotionally, physically, financially, parentally, vehicularly, worldly, and teacherly. And I’m certain I’m missing some other -ly in there. I can really only think of 2 or 3  weeks in my adult life that were harder. I am drained. Completely emptied. I have not felt joyful.

Talk about testing my “Lift my eyes to the hills” challenge. Finding my joy? Ummm…. we won’t go there.

So I’ve decided I need to write. Because I need to focus on the moments that did bring joy – even if there weren’t many and they were short lived. And as I am spending a lot of my week trying to remember where my help comes from – because I’ve needed that help sooo much – I also need to be thankful to Him who is the giver of all good things. So here are this week’s “good things” in no particular order:

1. My husband. Wow. What a rock he has been. I am so grateful.

2. Jacob. Oh man. I could go on and on about the joy this kid brings. But one of my favorites recently is when he gets super protective and tells off someone who touches me. Daddy, the chiropractor, you name it. He scowls. And with his furrowed brow, he says, “No do dat!” or “You no kiss my Mama!” (That second one was to daddy, just to be clear.) I also love when he bursts into song then pauses and says, “I singing, Mama! I singing! Sing too!”

3.  An unexpected visit at some family/church family/friends’ house. We laughed, were entertained by Jacob’s singing, and enjoyed our time immensely. Up until the last 5 minutes when  “Parentally Hard Act I” took place. But such is life.

4. Mom home from Indonesia! Phew! 3 cheers for being able to talk on the phone with my mom when I want to! (Which is daily. Sorry, Matt.)

5.  Our pastor’s wife bringing Jacob up front during church to help her make an announcement about the nursery expanding. I’m pretty sure he knows when he’s doing it, but he completely melted my heart when he waved and said, “Hi, Mommy!” Because in all the whole congregation, I’m the one he’d want to go to.

6.  Celebrating my brother-in-law’s birthday. Because Tom is a cool guy and, well, chocolate cake is always good. But more importantly, it was nice to visit with Matt’s family. We haven’t done that in a while. And we got to see Matt’s mom’s new business. She is the new owner of Curves in Lynden. The remodel is astounding! It actually makes me want to work out. (If you haven’t seen it, you should like it on Facebook and check out the before/after pics!)

7. Valentine’s Day dinner. Not the whole day. Just the dinner. Well, the evening following the dinner was nice too. We just won’t discuss the earlier part of the day. It had something to do with “Parentally Hard Act II: And You Thought It Couldn’t Get Any Worse.” But the dinner… pink heart-shaped pancakes (Leesie’s fav) and sausage (Jacob’s fav – and pretty much the only protein he likes) made for a pleasant meal with the people I love. No arguing about how many more bites needed to be eaten. No asking for something else to eat. No “I no like it. It YUCKY.” from Jacob. Ah. Peace.

8. Dinner was followed by my favorite moment of the week – singing with my girl. We rehearsed in the car all week and surprised daddy with a duet – her idea. If singing with an adorable and joyful girl  – a song about God’s faithfulness and love – doesn’t cheer you up, then what will? Am I right?

9. In one of my toughest moments – this time at work – my partner and friend showed up, on her day off, to help me get through it. She stepped in to the teacher role so I could step out. She brought Valentines to share. And she prayed for the hurt.  How wonderful to be cared for and to have a work partner be so kind-hearted. And what a blessing that she loves Jesus, too.

10. My students’ faces as they excitedly gave me my Valentine’s gifts and cards: Lindor truffles in a heart box, a single red rose, a stuffed dog, a note pad “because teachers like note pads and that kind of stuff,” a few hand-made cards, and a smashed homemade pink-frosted cookie from an adorable boy with a huge smile. There were other things as well. And each face was full of joy in the giving.

11. The Ferndale Levy Passed!!! WAHOO! I will have a job next year. Probably.

12. Twice today I received a text from someone I love. Each person said some encouraging words and ended the text with “Peace be with you.”  How much I needed that peace. I am so grateful for the love of family, friends, and Jesus. It is enough.

Peace be with YOU.

Oh yes. Some of you have asked how to follow the blog. (If you choose to, I promise they will not be as heavy-hearted. Lots of laughter to come from the kids.) But if you want to, click “Follow”  on the right side of this page.